In the last couple of months, I have been spending a lot of time online. Especially Instagram became my go-to app directly after waking up. I am a person who tends to compare herself to others and their lives and successes a lot. And this comparing often comes with questioning my own behaviour, values, dreams, and goals. In most of the cases, my life seemed less exciting, less successful, and less great overall. And I am kind of done with this constant feeling of not being/doing enough. To clarify this: this feeling comes from within me. At no moment did anyone ever, over the last year, tell me I was doing a bad job at my business or not succeeding. On the contrary, people keep telling me that I inspire them to pursue their own dreams and list all the things I have achieved. This feeling of never enough and constantly looking for happiness and the next best thing is taking the joy out of almost everything I am doing. And this is why it has to stop.
My starting point
Until last week, I was using Instagram for about 2+ hours per day. Mindlessly scrolling, chasing new likes, and hoping for new followers. I was constantly checking my shop to see if I had new orders or if someone liked my products. My inbox was refreshed every couple of minutes, in the worst moments, and WhatsApp was constantly on. Until one day about a week ago, I had enough. I finally bought the book “Digital Minimalism. On Living Better with Less Technology” by Cal Newport, deleted Instagram from my phone and started reading.
Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
While reading the book, I soon realized that the apps itself were not the problem. Although they are designed to have users spend as much time as possible on them, they are not bad per se. It is how I used them that became the problem. I allowed an app to tell me how to feel: about my life, about my business, about the things I want to do, and about what success is. One of the first things to do to go through the digital declutter, as Newport calls it, is to identify the apps and technologies that are optional, and that cause the most distraction and reason to feel not good about me. For me, these are the following apps:
- Gmail
- Etsy
- Youtube
- WhatsApp and my laptop and smartphone in general.
The next step was to make rules for each of these apps/devices and to stick to them for 30 days. I am now on day 2 of these 30 days and I can already feel a difference.
My rules for each app/device are
- Instagram: Delete the app from my phone, use once per week (to stay in touch with people who ordered a custom made embroidery from me)
- Facebook: Delete the app from my phone, do not use at all
- Gmail: Deactivated app from my phone (deleting was not possible somehow), check and reply to emails from 11.00-12.00 every day (Monday to Friday)
- Etsy: Delete the app from my phone, check traffic and likes during my Gmail time
- Youtube: Either listen to music while working or watch inspirational videos while stitching. No mindless murder documentaries, no mindless videos in the evening.
- WhatsApp: Mute notifications, check WhatsApp and reply to messages and stay in touch with friends only between 8.30-9.00 and 17.00 -17.30 each day
- Laptop: 1h per day during my working time has to be screenless work. Today, for example, I spent an hour sitting on the guest bed brainstorming about my business and the direction I want it to take.
- Phone: Turn sound on so people can reach me in case of an emergency, leave the phone in the kitchen after 20.00 o’clock
- Screenless Saturdays: No screens at all until 15.oo o’clock on Saturdays
This might seem like a lot of rules, but I already feel the benefits. I have really realized that I was not in control of how I use the apps and technologies. And that I really want to have this control and power back.
Blocking the sites
My next step was to block the sites mentioned above on my laptop. I scheduled the times during which I can use the apps and it has helped me a lot already. I am using the Chrome Extension BlockSite for this and I had it set up in less than five minutes.
Newport points out that it is important to know how you can fill your new free time and to fill it with meaningful projects or activities. My third step was therefore to make a list of activities I knew from experience would make me feel good and I considered valuable.
Things to do in my new free time
Educational/Learning
- Write my blog: Yes, you might think, really Anne? You did not post anything in months. True 🙂 And this will change again because I am shifting my focus away from fastpaced apps like Instagram and towards more in depth-writing which I find appealing and would like to do more of on a regular basis.
- Follow online-courses: My boyfriend and I are doing the course Science of Happiness at edX by Berkley University and I enjoy it a lot. I have also signed up for the courses Gender and Sexuality: Applications in Society and European Paintings: From Leonardo to Rembrandt to Goya.)
- Read: I already read regularly, but reading is one of the first things I stop doing when I think I have to perform and produce. It is also something I easily stop when feeling stressed.
- Try new recipes: Mostly, my boyfriend cooks but I enjoy it, too, and have the goal to try one new recipe per week for the next twelve weeks.
Outdoors
- Cycle: My boyfriend and I cycle now almost every day. Some days just an hour, other days 100km. It is great to be outside and it helps me to find a bit of solitude.
- Photography: I want to learn how to use my camera better and go for solitude walks (recommended by Newport and others). I want to discover the world around me a bit better and photography always helps me with that.
Home/Family/Friends
- Declutter our home: We have just bought a house and are moving in November. So sorting through our stuff, selling what we don’t need anymore, or give it to others is a valuable and necessary project.
- Meeting friends and family: Of course, this is not so easy and recommended to do during this pandemic, but I can also meet my friends in a video call and have a deep conversation with them instead of just connecting by liking their Instagram photos.
The schedule
Yesterday, I took 90 minutes to make a schedule that includes all the rules above but also gives a clear overview of my tasks for this week and the projects I want to work on.
My day tomorrow, for example, looks like this:
6.30-7.30: cycle
7.30-8.30: shower, breakfast, read
8.30-9.00: WhatsApp
9.00-11.00: Project/ Focus hours: Writing
11.00-12.00: E-Mails, orders
12.00-13.00: Lunch
13.00-14.30: Designing new patterns for my shop
14.30-17.00: Stitching
17.00-17.30: WhatsApp
17.30-18.30: Dinner, Science of Happiness-Course
18.30-21.00: Reading, projectwork, Board Game
Some of you might find this too much planning, but for me, it helps me to know that everything will happen eventually and that I planned it. I will do the first recap of this experiment after week 2 and one final one after 30 days with a detailed plan on how to use social media and the apps mentioned above for my values and purpose. But I think my first conclusion so far is: Social Media will only play a part in my business life, not in my private life in the future and I feel great about it already.
