Why I deactivated and deleted my social media accounts and how I hope to find some inner rest as a result of it.
Quitting social media
Since last year when I did the “digital detox,” I have been thinking about deleting my accounts on Facebook and Instagram. Mostly because I realized that social media and the sheer amount of input I got did make me feel bad about myself and my life. It made me feel like I am not doing enough, like I am not enough. But then there always was this other part of me that said “Anne, just try harder, make the best of it, use it to grow your business” and I´ve found it difficult to not log in to Instagram.
So a few days ago, I finally made the decision to find out if my constant mood swings (going from “Yeah, life is awesome” to “What are you even doing with your life?” several times per week/day) are because of a deep-rooted issue within me and if letting go of social media can help me find some inner rest and calmness and enjoy my life more. And this is where I am now. I have deleted my Facebook account and deactivated my three Instagram accounts. To make sure I cannot access them, I have changed the email address connected to these accounts to my boyfriend´s address. In case I want to log in and reset my password, he gets a notification. It makes me a bit sad that this outer control is necessary but yeah, I think I abused social media and this is the price to pay now.
What I hope will happen now
To be honest, I do not want to have high expectations, but I also know that I have them already. For months, if not years, I am constantly battling myself about the purpose and meaning of my life. I have been chasing some goals and highs that did not make me happy after all and I secretly hope that by the end of the year, this will have stopped. My wish is to find out what I really want to do in my free time, without influences from outside like it was before. I hope I will start the majority of my days listening to what I want to do that day and then do it. And find joy in doing these things, not only in a “shareable” result. I wish that I will feel better about myself and my life. That I find many moments of deep work, where I get into some kind of flow, fully immersed into the task ahead. I wish to deepen my connection with the people in my life. But most of all, I wish to live according to my values.
I will share my values and how I have found them in an upcoming post. That post will also cover how I have come to the conclusion that I have a lot of “junk values” and how I came up with my own definition of success and how I try to live up to it. I am currently preparing a long, in-depth post about success and our thinking about it, and knowing that I am taking the time to dig into this topic at my own pace makes me super happy already.
First observations
It has only been a couple of days that I have stopped using social media but I have already run into a couple of situations in which I could not access information because I do not have a Facebook account anymore. I wanted to, for example, look up some information about a little fruit and vegetable shop in the neighbouring city but they are only available on Facebook. I think it will happen more often in the course of the next months. And for a moment I was a bit annoyed by how inconvenient that now is, but then I thought “Well, I guess I have to go to the shop now to find out what I want to know” and that thought somehow made me happy again. It means I have to cycle there, talk to the owner – things that I enjoy and might lead to some nice conversations and opportunities.
I want to start writing here again as I enjoy writing and thinking about some topics. I also want to share the books I have read again and just find joy in writing and thinking.
