Have you ever had so many interests that choosing just one felt impossible? Or felt guilty for starting things and not finishing them, for wanting to learn Portuguese and take a pottery class and finally read Tolstoy and also maybe learn to bake proper bread? If yes, then Barbara Sher wrote this book for you.
Refuse to Choose! is built around a concept Sher calls the “Scanner” – a person who is genuinely excited by many different things and does not want to commit to just one path. For most of our lives, people like this are told they need to focus, to specialise, to pick something and stick with it. Sher’s argument is: no. Actually, the scanning mind is not a problem to be fixed. It is a feature, not a bug.
I picked this book up because I recognised myself in the description immediately. I have started approximately four different creative projects this year alone, I read across every genre, and I have a running list of things I want to learn that is frankly embarrassing in its length. Reading Sher felt like someone finally looking me in the eye and saying: you are not broken. You are just wired differently.
The practical second half of the book is full of “Scanner Daybook” exercises, different “Scanner types” (yes, she sub-categorises, which I loved), and strategies for managing the particular frustration of being endlessly curious in a world that rewards depth over breadth. Some of the exercises felt a little long for my taste, but the underlying ideas are genuinely useful.
The thing I keep coming back to is this: the goal does not have to be mastery. Sometimes curiosity is the point. Sometimes you pick something up, learn what it has to teach you, and then put it down again. And that is completely fine.
Who should read it: Anyone who has ever been told they need to pick one thing and stick with it. Anyone who feels guilty about their many half-finished projects. Anyone who needs permission to be interested in everything.
★★★★☆
